As I last wrote, I was preparing for a wonderful week of vacation in and around Omaha, Nebraska. The wife and I packed up the kids and our travel trailer and headed east. We selected Omaha as our summer vacation destination for a myriad of reasons, all of which I touched on in my last post, but the major reason is: we’re poor and cheap.
The first thing I leaned about pulling a trailer to Omaha in an effort to save money on the old summer vacation is that pulling a trailer when gas is over $3.50 per gallon and you are lucky to be getting 8 miles per gallon is not really saving anyone anything. The second thing I learned is that summer on any interstate is going mean many, many, many road construction delays. So, yeah, our little drive, which should have taken around 7 hours, took more like 10. Ten hours in a vehicle pulling a trailer with outside temperatures of well over 100 degrees F and two kids who love to terrorize each other whenever they get bored spells F-U-N!
So, our first day ends setting up camp (or camper) in Mahoney State Park just outside Omaha. Neat place, except it looks to me like making a reservation was kind of like inviting the State of Nebraska to gently screw us. We made reservations to make sure we had a spot to camp, but the portion of the campground that was set aside for reservations was definitely the suckier part of the campground. If we would have just showed up and grabbed a spot, we would have been in the shaded area next to the bathroom/shower house and we would have been able to pick up the WiFi. Instead, we were in pretty much direct sunlight all day long and were like a quarter of a mile from the shower house (and nearest bathrooms). Sure, we have a toilet in the camper, but there were no sewage hook-ups at this park, and a camper with a sewage storage tank full of poop and pee sitting out in the 105°F sun isn’t somewhere anyone could really spend a week. Needless to say, we spent a lot of time driving to the pooper on the other side of the campground… you know… where the WiFi and shade were.
So, after a decent night sleep, we drive into Omaha and head to the Henry Doorly Zoo and Aquarium. The wife was there as a little girl, but none of the rest of us had ever been there. Heard it was cool, so we thought we would check it out. It was cool. Best zoo I have ever been to… not that I’ve been to that many. The Denver Zoo, a zoo in Memphis, and our local excuse for a zoo in Scottsbluff (which isn’t really too bad for a zoo in a town that is way to small to have a zoo). The Omaha Zoo was (according to one of the volunteers that wouldn’t leave us alone) recently named the “best zoo in America”. Apparently, Omaha’s Zoo is always in the top three, but this is the first time it has been named number one. I don’t know what agency ranks the zoos or how credible the volunteer was, but I will admit that I don’t have a hard time believing that the Henry Doorly Zoo is the best zoo in the nation.
For lunch, we ate at one of the cafeterias in the zoo. Overpriced burgers and fries, but not bad food. The zoo took us pretty much the entire day to get through, and it was a lot of walking. By the time we left, we were starving again, and I had special plans for supper.
My family members are big fans of iCarly, and there was an episode where the show kind of poked fun at the portion sizes at the Cheesecake Factory (although they gave it a different name). Ever since that episode, we have wanted to try out a Cheesecake Factory, and Omaha happens to have one. I didn’t tell the family where we were going, so when we pulled up, it was a surprise. We were all excited.
We got seated and the waitress took our drink orders. The oldest boy ordered a pop, and the wife asked if there were free refills on the strawberry lemonade.
“Oh, yeah, all the drinks have free refills,” said the waitress.
So, the youngest boy and the wife got the strawberry lemonades. I, after hearing the waitress make her statement about all of the drinks coming with free refills, decide on the $3.50 glass of chilled spiced cider. Usually, I would have just ordered a pop or an iced tea, but cold apple cider sounded kind of good.
The waitress brought the drinks, and the pop and lemonades are in these monster glasses. My cider is in a much smaller glass, but I’m thinking “guess that means she’ll just have to refill it more often.” The oldest boy and I finished off our drinks before the waitress returned to take our food orders (walking around the zoo all day in the heat makes a guy thirsty). She asked the boy if he would like a refill to which he replied in the affirmative. She then left. She returned shortly with a new pop for the kid and… a glass of water for me. She leaned over and whispered, “I thought you might like this. The cider is the only thing we don’t have free refills on.”
What the…
So I’m going to be drinking freaking water with my Cheesecake Factory meal? I must have had a look on my face that indicated to the wife my displeasure.
“Just order a pop or something,” said the wife.
“No, I’m good,” I pouted.
The waitress hurried away.
“Don’t get all pouty and ruin this for everyone,” said the wife.
“I’m not pouty,” I pouted. “They already got my $3.50 for that little glass of apple juice. They don’t need any more money for drinks from me.”
For your information, apple juice is the cheapest of the juices. I have no research to back that up (because I’m incredibly lazy), but I’m pretty sure it’s true. Whenever you buy a juice that is “100% juice”, it usually isn’t really 100% juice of the kind advertised on the label, especially if it has “cocktail” or “blend” in the title. Usually, it is mostly apple juice with a hint of whatever kind of juice you think you are buying. This is because apple juice is the cheapest juice they can add, yet they can still put “100% juice” on the label. Yet, I gotta pay $3.50 for one tiny glass of cheap apple juice with no free refills! Needless to say, my entire experience at the Cheesecake Factory was ruined at that particular moment. I don’t even really remember what I ordered (some kind of burger I think) or if it was any good (but I know it would have been better with free refills on the cheap apple juice).
By the time the waitress had come around to take our dessert orders, I was so pissed that I skipped dessert entirely. Everyone else ordered cheesecake (because that’s what you do at the Chesecake Factory, right?) and I just sat there being all kinds of pissed off. Myself excluded, I think everyone enjoyed the Cheesecake Factory. My youngest said it was the “best cheesecake ever”… and he doesn’t even like cheesecake… but I personally will never set foot in that particular chain again. Screw me on the apple juice, will you…