Month: March 2024

So, I’m finally out of Nebraska.

Finally!

Where am I now? Well, I’m going to surmise that you can guess by the title of this post. Yeah… now I’m in Iowa. Not exactly the huge cultural change I was hoping for, but thus far, it’s not too bad. Exchange the beef for pork and the corn for… uh… corn, and it’s pretty similar here in Iowa compared to what it was in Nebraska. Iowa does, however, have a few advantages.

I like the community here a bit better than the Nebraska community I was in. There are bike/walking paths EVERYWHERE! There was one path for biking/walking in the western Nebraskan community where I lived. Here, you can go almost anywhere on a designated bike/walking path. If I so desired, I could ride my bike all over the state of Iowa without having to worry even the slightest about getting hit by a car. I almost feel like I moved from a backwards, dying community to thriving, progressive community with outdoor amenities and hope for the future. It’s almost weird, seeing as how Iowa and Nebraska are similar in so many ways, yet how different the views are here in Iowa regarding bike/walking trails. It’s like Iowa has figured out that a good trail system leads to less vehicular traffic on the roads and better traffic flow (they use a lot of roundabouts here as well), more safety for cyclists and pedestrians, increased visitation to areas of natural beauty that every community has to some degree, and a healthier overall citizen population. Some communities actually want to attract active people, I guess. Advantage, Iowa.

One thing I have an issue with in Iowa (you knew there’d be at least one, right?) is the drivers. Iowa drivers are not fun to be on the road with. In Nebraska, people knew how to use cruise control. I don’t think people in Iowa know how to use cruise control, and they have a severe dislike of anyone passing them. A constant struggle here in Iowa is being able to peacefully pass someone.

So, on my morning commute, most of my time is spent on a four-lane highway. There are not a ton of cars on the highway at 6:30am, but there is some traffic. The speed limit is 65 mph on the highway I take, and I usually set my cruise control somewhere between 65 and 70 mph. Every morning there will be that one pick-up truck or SUV poking along at like 60 mph. So as I approach them, I signal into the passing lane and slowly start to go around them… and then they speed up. Now I’m in the passing lane but they are slowly pulling away from me. I let them get a couple of car lengths ahead of me, and I get out of the passing lane… only to be quickly on their butt again because they are once again going 60 mph. This entire process will happen two or three times before I get pissed off and gun it, passing them at like 90 mph. They still speed up as I’m passing, but they aren’t as willing to get a ticket as I am at that point and I can usually get by.

Now, I honestly don’t know if these other drivers are just clueless as to what they are doing or if they are just asshats. Given my beliefs about other people and my disposition, I’m leaning towards the asshat description. And speaking of asshats, we also have an abundance of the passing-lane-douche-patrol here in Iowa. You know the ones, they get over in the passing lane driving the speed limit and they refuse to move out of that lane. They see themselves as part of some kind of citizen police force whose sole purpose on the road is to prevent anyone from going over the speed limit. For these people, you have to pass them on the right, and every time I pass one of them, my mind hears them screaming at me in Gomer Pyle’s voice, “Citizen’s Arrest… Citizen’s Arrest!”

Look here, Gomer Pyle, your job is never to enforce your concepts of speeding law on others. If you want to enforce laws, quit your day job and go into law enforcement and then maybe you’ll realize the utter waste of time it is for real law enforcement to pull someone over for going five mph over the speed limit. You’ll quickly learn there are bigger fish to fry then the person going 60 in a 55. I know this is a tough concept for you, but the left lane is called the “passing” lane for a reason; it’s to be used for passing. If you are just hanging out in the passing lane and you’re not passing anyone, you are actually breaking the law just as much (if not more so) than someone going slightly over the posted speed. Scoot the hell over and let us by… or we’ll have to pull a Gomer Pyle on you!

“Citizen’s Arrest… Citizen’s Arrest!”

Other than the driving, everything here in Iowa is pretty peachy. Yep, peachy keen!

Well…

… except for the food. The food here in Iowa is slightly bland. I like things a little spicy, and I’m quickly coming to the realization that Iowa may be the state with the least spicy food of any state in the Union. But, alas, the lack of all things spicy is the topic for a future post, because I’m very passionate about all things spicy and I’m going to really want to dive into that bad boy. I’ve even ordered hot sauces from some Iowa hot sauce companies to see how they stack up to some of my favorite sauces. I’m excited (and slightly terrified at the prospect of being severely disappointed) to try some of these Iowa hot sauces… and I will definitely let you know if there are some sauces here that you need to be adding to your bucket list of hot sauces to try. And if you don’t have a bucket list of hot sauces you want to try, maybe you should be moving along to a different blog… I don’t need readers who hog the passing lane and don’t like spicy things!