Lola’s “Fine” Hot Sauces – an Iowa Thing…

So, I know it’s been a few months since my last post. I promised that I had more Iowa hot sauces to review. I decided I’d better get my ass in gear and get going. I’m tackling Lola’s Fine Hot Sauces in this post, and then I finally get to try my Iowa Pepper Company sauces that I’ve been sitting on for almost a year. I have a feeling that my next review will be covering some amazing sauces (or so I hope). Meanwhile…

… Lola’s. It’s actually Lola’s Fine Hot Sauce, which come in a variety of “flavors”. I’m kind of guessing that the “Fine” came from someone at Lola’s, when they first made their sauce(based on their grandma’s secret recipe, apparently), asking a taste tester how the sauce was. The conversation probably went something like this:

Family member: So, what did you think of the sauce?

Taste tester: It’s pretty okay. I mean, I’ve had better, but it’s far from the worst hot sauce I’ve tried.

Family member: But, I mean, if you had to use one word to sum it up, what word would you use? Fantastic? Flavorful? Spicy? Original?

Taste tester: It’s fine, dude, chill. Your sauce is just fine!

And in this imaginary conversation lies a possible reason for the name of the sauces being Lola’s Fine Hot Sauce.

I’m not going to dog on these sauces… at least not most of them. Lola’s original was one of the first sauces I bought when I moved to Iowa in July of 2023. I hated it. I was extremely disappointed. My first Iowa hot sauce and, at the time, it seemed like some basic store-brand Louisiana sauce full of vinegar and not much heat. I have, after a year-and-a-half of retrying this sauce (because this stuff is everywhere, Hy-Vee, Walmart, a local chain called Fairway… I even saw these sauces in Nebraska grocery stores when I was last in that state), I’ve become somewhat of a, I don’t know… not exactly a fan, but… not a hater?

I mean, how can something that is getting so much shelf space be as completely disgusting as I originally though?

For this review, I ordered a gift set of four sauces from Lola’s website (as you read this review, you will realize that I’m making zero money by putting this link here). The four-pack I ordered had the Original, Green Jalapeno & Serrano, Carolina Reaper and the Family Reserve. I think I picked up the Trinidad Scorpion at Walmart and I know I got the Mango Ginger Scotch Bonnet at Hy-Vee (it used to be a Hy-Vee exclusive).

I gotta be honest here, I could honestly just review three of these sauces and say, ‘It’s the same as the Original but hotter… and thinner,’ but I tried them all, damnit, and you’re going to have to read them… or not. You can leave at any time, but you can stay, too.

I’m going to start with the mildest of the Lola’s Fine Sauces: Green Jalapeno & Serrano. The flavor profile that almost all of these sauces share is a nice blend of lime and garlic. When I finally distinguished these flavor amongst the vinegar and pepper of the sauces, it was what helped me realize that Lola’s aren’t just another garbage cayenne pepper sauce. You have to realize, Covid screwed my taste buds up, and flavors aren’t immediately distinguishable to me… which is why I’m drawn to a lot of heat. The hotter the food, the more alive my taste buds become and the more flavors I can enjoy. With Lola’s only green sauce, lime and garlic compliment the tanginess of the green peppers. Is it hot? No. Is it warm? Yes, and it has, in my opinion, the most useable flavor of any of the Lola sauces. Now, if the fine folks at Lola’s would consider making it with, perhaps, a green Ghost Pepper…

Lola’s Original: this is the sauce that, upon first taste, I assumed was another low-quality cayenne sauce. The thing is, there is no cayenne in this sauce. The heat (and color) comes from Red Jalapeno and Red Habanero. The garlic and lime work well. Although this sauce is only mildly hot, it really does have a decent flavor and I can understand how the mild palettes of Iowa have claimed this sauce as one of their own… kind of like Caitlyn Clark. I think Caitlyn is an amazing basketball player and have nothing but respect for her, but I’ve seen 70-year-old grandma-types on social media trying to defend her when someone says something bad, and it’s all like:

“Caitlyn is a God-fearing woman who comes from a good family and knows true sportsmanship. Some of these other women in the WNBA could learn a lot from her. She represents Iowa so well, and we are proud of her and know she has a great future ahead.”

And the commenter’s name is like Ethel Wilmington, and her profile picture is a gray-haired old lady with her cat, and you can tell she knows next-to-nothing about basketball, but by-golly, Caitlyn is from Iowa and that makes her the best! I feel like this is how a lot of supporters of Lola’s are: it’s made in Iowa, so it can’t be bad. And Lola’s isn’t bad… it’s really not.

On to the Mango Ginger Scotch Bonnet. I was super stoker to try this sauce. A Scotch Bonnet sauce, made in Iowa, with ginger and mango! What could go wrong? First, the heat level is pretty disappointing. Second, it’s really not very sweet. It’s really a pretty bland sauce. Not sweet enough to be fruity, not spicy enough to keep on hand. This is the only one of the Lola’s sauces that I truly didn’t like, which sucks, because I feel like this sauce had a lot of potential.

Trinidad Scorpion: not a bad sauce. In fact, it’s pretty similar to the Original, but hotter. Not a lot hotter, but hotter. There is the common garlic/lime combo that takes the Lola’s sauces a level above your simple cayenne and Louisiana sauces that I truly don’t like. Lola’s also has a Ghost Pepper sauce which I have tried but am not reviewing at this time… but if you’ve tried the Trinidad Scorpion, you’ve pretty much tried any of the Lola’s that are up in the Super Hot range. With the Trinidad Scorpion, I did get some lingering mouth warmth, which is a good sign, but it really isn’t a Super Hot Sauce. But, this is Iowa, after all, and I think the folks at Lola’s know their target market.

Carolina Reaper: not only is the Carolina Reaper a Super Hot Pepper, it’s one of the hottest peppers in the world! Much like the Great Value Carolina Reaper/Jack cheese at Walmart or the Herr’s Carolina Reaper Cheese Curls, Lola’s Carolina Reaper Sauce uses the Carolina Reaper name, but doesn’t come close to living up to that name. So many food brands have tried taking advantage of Super Hots and their followers by throwing a Super Hot Pepper name on their products without offering close to the Super Hot heat levels. Campbell’s Chunky Ghost Pepper Chicken Noodle is a rare exception. Chunky’s Ghost Pepper soup is actually pretty hot. The Ghost Pepper may be the first (and mildest) of the true Super Hots, but it still packs a freaking wallop! Campbell’s cheats a bit with some pepper extract, but they still deliver a soup that can truly warm even the coldest of souls (I should know) on a cold winter’s eve. Lola’s Carolina Reaper sauce? Not so much. I actually feel like their Carolina Reaper sauce is considerably thinner (i.e. runnier) than the Trinidad Scorpion counterpart, but it’s not quite as spicy. Maybe they had to add more water to make up for the cost of the Carolina Reapers that they use in their sauce, but it doesn’t seem to be nearly as spicy as it should be. Again, it has a nice lime/garlic flavor boost, but all of their standard red sauces do.

Finally, a HOT sauce: Family Reserve! This is the only one of Lola’s sauces that I would consider to be actually hot. Similar to the Reaper sauce, this one is relatively thin. But the Family Reserve sauce is significantly hotter than any of Lola’s other sauces. It actually has a heat that can build as you eat it, and it can bring about the kind of sweating that I truly appreciate in hot sauce. If you decide to partake of a bit of Lola’s best sauce, it’s going to set you back around $12.00 for a 5oz bottle. Really, for a truly hot, all natural sauce, this is the kind of price you should expect to pay. The only issue I have with this price is the competitive sauces that are around the same price that deliver so much more. So much more not only heat, but flavor! Volcanic Peppers has a slew of sauces that are not only hotter but have better taste! Puckerbutt Peppers has a similar offering! If you are looking for true Super Hot sauces, look elsewhere.

However…

I have found a perfect use for Lola’s Family Reserve! I love me a good red beer! And I usually add a few dozen splashes of a decent table-side hot sauce to my concoction… usually something with Tabasco in the title. I have found that Lola’s red sauces are perfect complements to the tomato-based juice of you choice and the lager of you choice for a great red beer! Looking for an example?

Lola’s (along with Garage Beer Lime) offers up an almost perfect red beer, so they have an offering that is worth checking out!

More reviews to come. I hope you’ll continue to follow me on this adventure!