As I was writing my rants about my family’s vacation to Omaha this summer, I was posting links to the posts on my Facebook page. One of my friends mockingly challenged me to write a list of 20 POSITIVE things about our trip to eastern Nebraska. It’s like she doesn’t even know me… and we’re friends on Facebook! How could she not know me? Well, then another Facebook friend piped-up and said that she too would like to see me make a positive list.
Seriously?
Who do these people think I am? Tony Robbins?
Well, the first friend who made the insane comment about my need to do this positive list ended her comment with, “I know you can do it!!!” She really did use the exclamation points — three of them — kind of like a mother encouraging her little boy to make poopie on the potty. My Facebook friends love and respect me so much…
Well, I actually started thinking about trying to poop on that potty. You know, go against the grain of everything I believe in and actually come up with a list of crap that is positive. I wasn’t planning on limiting it to the vacation in Omaha, either. I was planning on trying to scrounge up 20 things in the panhandle of Nebraska that add some sort of pleasure and/or meaning to my life. I hadn’t even really started thinking about the 20 things yet, just the fact that I was going to try to come up with 20 things, and my head was already staring to throb.
Okay, so I thought about the church I attend. Following is the attempt I made at listing the church…
1. I go to a good church. The people are all pretty non-hypocritical, the pastor really knows the bible, and the family and I all feel pretty welcomed there. The music is all pretty old-school hymns and whatnot, which I don’t really care for, and there are no drums or guitars or synthesizers or anything. We say the Lord’s Prayer and the Apostle’s Creed during every service, which seems a little ceremonial to me, and I’m not a big believer in religious ceremony. And did I even mention the old people always complaining about the temperature in the sanctuary! For crying out loud, it’s always 150 degrees in there because grandma is a little chilly and had to complain to one of the deacons! AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE RUDE DEACONS…
… and then I realized that this wasn’t probably even really close to what my Facebook friends were looking for as far as positive goes, so I decided to skip mentioning my church. I thought I should try something else. At this point, my head has moved beyond throbbing and is more in the solar flare category.
1. There are good schools here. Well, the schools are okay. There are some issues with the schools here. Scottsbluff Public Schools used to have a strong HALS (high ability learners) program, but the new superintendent of schools put the kibosh to that program and replaced it with some program that he had “great success” with back in Colorado. The new program involves hours and hours and hours of extra homework for the students… and the student’s parents. Good call, superintendent. I have tried taking advantage of some of the offerings at the local community college. At one point, when I was really feeling like I wasn’t supposed to be doing what I was doing for a job, I took one of those tests through the college that are supposed to tell you what you would be good at based on your personality and skills. Well, I paid like fifty bucks to find out that my calling is to be a file clerk. A FLIPPING FILE CLERK! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT A FAMILY ON THE EARNINGS OF A STINKING FILE CLERK…
And, once again, I got off topic. Being positive is hard. Being negative seems natural to me. I enjoy writing about stuff that pisses me off. Writing about positive stuff is boring and I don’t enjoy it at all. Writing about negative stuff is easy and fun. Writing about positive stuffs sucks. Writing about negative stuff is like a hobby. Writing about positive stuff is like work… and I like to get paid for work… so I don’t think I will be trying to write too much more positive stuff. I can’t handle the headaches.
Besides, there are plenty of positive people blogging about the panhandle of Nebraska. There aren’t too many of us who show the other side (and I know that not everyone loves life here, so I have an audience). Want something positive? Try:
SCB Citizen (although I could really appreciate her post on how fat Scotts Bluff County is)
Country Chicken Girl seems to enjoy living around here.
Nebraska Prairie Girl seems to like life on the prairie.
These are just a small sampling of the many blogs about how great life is in rural Nebraska. These are usually written by women, and the women are usually either avid photographers or very artsy-craftsy (i.e. have talent of some sort). More power too ’em. I don’t know how me struggling to write positive crap about life in rural Nebraska would fit in with these fine bloggers. Positive just isn’t my thing. Besides, I kind of like people being able to find my blog. Do a Google search for “Scottsbluff, NE” or “rural Nebraska”. You won’t find any blogs on the first page of these searches.
Now, try Googling “Scottsbluff, NE sucks”.
Go ahead… Google it… or use Yahoo… or Bing…
That’s right, baby!
Looks like I might know which pot I’m supposed to be pooping on…
You got it, Rich. Negative is so much easier than posative. As a matter of fact, Im so freaking negative right now I dont even have the will to comment further.
straight up