NEXT: The Panhandle’s Social Elite…

There is an organization here in the wonderful panhandle of Nebraska called NEXT.  NEXT is a group of “young professionals” who have taken it upon themselves to be leaders in the community.  They have made it their job to promote the panhandle as a great place to live.  Good for them.

On their website, the folks at NEXT make some very clear statements as to what they are… and what they are not.  For example, NEXT is: “A group of the Panhandle’s future elite leaders, not the social elite.”  What a great statement… too bad it’s not true.  If you visit NEXT’s website and click on the “board” tab, you will see the leaders of this “leaders’ group”.  Judging from the last names of these leaders, the names of the businesses they work for, and the dates those businesses were established, I’m assuming three of the five board members have parents or grandparents who started successful businesses… and these kids are able to ride on those coattails.  Can you say “trust fund”?  The other two board members are pretty faces, and we all know that the pretty people have a higher likelihood of success than us normal (or, in my case, morbidly disgusting) people.

I am not saying that these people didn’t work hard to reach their current levels of success.  I don’t personally know any of them (we don’t hang in the same social circles — oh wait, I don’t have a social circle…)  All I’m saying is that, in my opinion, being a pretty person or having rich parents gives you quite an advantage over the rest of the population when it comes to future success.

So, the rich and the pretty… how in the hell is that not the social elite?  This is life in the panhandle: have parents or grandparents who were successful — or be pretty — and you have a shot at true success.  It takes money and/or looks to make it here…  which is why there are so many of us who can’t really make it.  The rest of us work to serve the social elite.  Maybe this isn’t a panhandle problem.  Maybe this is an American problem…

The rich and pretty of NEXT have made one of their goals to retain and encourage potential leaders (i.e. other rich and pretty people who either leave after 2-3 years because they think it sucks here… or don’t become involved in community leadership roles because they are too busy pushing their slaves to make them more money) to become active in the community by stressing “the great life that the Panhandle offers”.  Are they referring to the same panhandle that I live in?  Maybe there is another panhandle (one that deserves to be capitalized) that I’m not familiar with.  Or maybe if you are part of the social elite and have the rest of the community bowing down to serve you, life can be pretty good here.  Who knows?

Another of the statements made by NEXT is that they are “A group using a social platform to accomplish objectives, not a Saturday night social club.”  Really?  Again, looking at their website, the last few events listed were a “Mardi Gras” event in February of 2009, a “Peacocks and Potluck” event (at the zoo, I’m assuming) in May of 2009, and a “Comedy on the Rocks” event in June of 2010.  Those all sound an awful lot like “Saturday night social club” events to me… but what do I know; I’m not part of the social elite.

I think I need to start my own leadership group.  You know, a group for guys and gals who once thought they could find some measure of financial success but have come to realize that just ain’t going to happen.  We could get together on Saturday nights once every couple of months and sit around a keg of Old Milwaukee eating chicken wings and talking about how we can’t understand why we are all still living here.  We won’t be able to stay up late, however, because many of us will probably have to get up the next morning to go to work (because we will all be working at serving the social elite until the day we die).  We could charge all members a cover charge to cover the cheap beer and hot wings, and whatever is left over could be donated to a local charity… I’m thinking Habitat-for-the-Non-Social-Elite may be a good choice…

*****INTERESTING TIDBIT ALERT*****

You know the saying “piss poor”?  Do you know where this comes from?  In the olden days, apparently tanners used urine to tan hides.  If your family was poor, often the family would all pee in a collective pot to be taken and sold to the tanner.  Your family was “piss poor”.  Of course, if your family was super duper poor, you “wouldn’t have a pot to piss in”.

How do I know this is true?  I found it on the Internet.  Everything on the Internet is true, right?

I kind of wish tanners still used urine to tan hides.  Not that I would want to be “piss poor”, it would just be an easy way to make a little extra cash…

*****INTERESTING TIDBIT COMPLETE****

So, until I get my own leadership group together, I guess I’ll have to make do with making fun of the existing organizations.  You know what, though?  NEXT is at least doing something to try to make the panhandle a better place.  They even recently participated in an event that benefited Special Olympics, and I can’t dog on that.  I am, however,  skeptical of their motives because I believe they are mostly looking out for themselves.  They could give a crap-less how the ordinary citizens of the panhandle are doing (as long as they keep flipping burgers and mowing lawns and painting houses and controlling pests and collecting garbage or any job where some peon is available to be yelled at when the elite feel like yelling).  They want more rich, pretty people in the area to hang out with so they can defend themselves when the unruly, unclean masses finally rise up!  But still, they are doing something.  I have to give them credit for that.  People who sit around and bitch like me probably drive the elite absolutely insane… hahaha… and that’s why I do what I do 🙂