How to Deal with Stress on a Limited Budget

Stress: the silent killer, right?  Hahaha!  Well, if you’re like me, your stress isn’t really that silent.  My stress is displayed in violent outbursts that can be heard up to 1 and a quarter miles away, and usually something gets broken (which I often regret).  I can see how stress kills, though, and I’d love to cut down on the impact it has on my life.  I’d actually like to eliminate stress completely, but that is impossible… and thinking of how I will never be able to remove stress from my life just stresses me out.

As far back as I can remember, I have been easily stressed-out.  However, I used to be able to bottle that stuff up, and no one was the wiser.  I’d hold all of the stress inside and let it build until, once every so often, I’d have a meltdown.  These meltdowns were powerful and often catastrophic.  Things and people were often hurt, myself included.

Over the course of the last few years, my ability to bottle the stress has diminished.  It’s like the storage unit I used to be able to shove the stress into has reached its capacity, and any new stress (which occurs daily) automatically spills out into my temper.  Now, instead of occasional meltdowns, I experience daily (but much smaller) bouts of rage.

What is the best way to deal with stress?  Good gravy… if I had the answer to that, I probably wouldn’t need to be on blood pressure medication.  The “experts” offer numerous stress-relieving methods, most of which are free.  When I write “experts”, what I really mean is “people for whom stress isn’t really a problem”… ’cause most of the recommendations are laughable.

Helpguide.org offers the following advice:  relax.  Wow, there’s some good advice.  That’s golden.  So, how exactly do we relax when stress has taken over?  Deep breathing, visualization, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, and yoga are Helpguide’s recommendations.  Well, when I’m stressed, I’m usually already breathing pretty heavily.  I’m also using visualization (usually visualizing my fist contacting someone’s face).  In fact, the “visualization” usually evolves into “meditation” as I meditate on destroying every breakable thing in sight.  Progressive muscle relaxation is some sort of “two-step process” that involves getting semi-naked and flexing the muscles in your feet while you stare at them…

.

.

.

.

.

.

… not exactly something that sounds like I’m going to get into the full swing of while I’m stressed out.  Finally yoga… seriously?  I’m ready to put my fist through a wall, so why don’t I sit all cross-leggy and clear my mind.

.

.

.

.

.

.

If I could clear my stinking mind, I wouldn’t be stressed.  I mean, come on, the reason stress is so harsh is because it becomes (to some of us) all-consuming while we are under its grip.  Like I wrote earlier, I don’t think that the people who come up with these solutions to controlling stress have ever really been stressed-out.

There are tons of other websites with similar suggestions to helpguide.org, and none of them offer the quick fix that I’m looking for.  For a real help with stress, you have to turn to a shrink

.

.

.

.

.

.

or medication

.

.

.

.

.

.

or both.  Neither a head doctor nor the suitable pills to make stress go away are cheap, so you will be forking over major cash wads to alleviate stress, and since financial stress is very common, you will be creating stress to get rid of your stress.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Catch-22, anyone?

So how does one go about dealing with stress on a limited budget?  Well, my personal favorite is sleep.  When I get stressed, I just want to shut everything down.  Sleep is a great way to escape from the daily rigors of stress.  If you get stressed at work and you have a desk…
.
.
.

.
.
.
… just crawl under the desk and fall into the stress-busting arms of deep sleep.  If you don’t have a desk, there is always somewhere else…
.
.
.

.
.
.
It is, after all…
.
.
.

.
.
.
…the “rest” room.

Maybe sleep doesn’t do it for you.  Maybe you need something cheap to calm your nerves.  Maybe you got a little sumin’ sumpin’ calling your name.

.

.

.

.

.

.

And maybe you won’t need your liver in your senior years.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Okay, so maybe the drug/alcohol method may not be the best choice for stress relief.  It’s a choice, just not a very smart one.

So we have sleep and the use of drugs.  What else can we do to relieve stress?  A final method… and, next to sleep, my favorite… is breaking stuff.  Oh, sure, I could rephrase this “exercise” (’cause exercise helps work off the stress), but who is able to drop everything and go for a 1/2 mile jog every time he or she gets stressed?  Athletes, that’s who, and most of us aren’t athletes.  I go to the YMCA almost nightly in an effort to work off the day’s stress, but that doesn’t do me any good when I’m trying to book a service call while dealing with our field tech on my cell phone (who I can hardly hear because his stupid bluetooth picks-up the slightest breeze and makes it sound like he’s in the middle of a stinking tornado) and the office phone is ringing off the stinking hook and one of the subcontractors is standing in the door of my office telling me how he needs to charge more money, in extremely broken-English (he speaks English just fine unless he is telling me how he is gonna charge more than agreed upon due to some stupid circumstance that sounds half made-up… then he gets really hard to understand)… and I just want to SCREAM AND START BREAKING STUFF.  A brisk walk around the neighborhood is, at this point, not an option.  Something needs to give, and it most likely will be my patience.  I keep a tomahawk within reach for just such occasion.  I grab the tomahawk and look at the subcontractor… who immediately leaves.  I don’t know if it is the sight of the tomahawk that makes him leave, or if it’s the look in my eyes whilst holding the tomahawk that makes him decide another time to discuss his pricing may be in order.  I then sink the tomahawk into the next closest point of frustration.
.
.
.

.
.
.

.
.
.
And guess what?  I feel all better… even if I still have to use the stupid thing to listen to people bitch about their Internet

.
.
.

.
.
.

So there you have it.  If you don’t have the kind of money that can buy the good kinds of relief for stress, just take a nap, get loaded on cheap booze or drugs, or break stuff.  Then, get a good night’s sleep…  ’cause tomorrow, you get to do it all over again 🙂