Best McDonald’s Story EVER!

Okay, true story.  100% true.  I was going to wait to post it until after April Fool’s, but it’s just too good to not get out right away.

Yesterday, a coworker of mine comes back from lunch and has the most amazing McDonald’s story I’ve ever heard.  Actually, this is one of the most amazing customer service stories of all time!

The coworker’s name is… well, I don’t want to use his real name, so I’ll just call him Ron.  Ron goes to the drive through at the McDonald’s in Gering, NE to order a little lunch for himself… as is his wont  for lunch.  “Wont”… not “want” or “won’t”… look it up.  I’m all fancy-languaged and whatnot.  He orders his grub and is told to “Please pay at the first window.”

So, Ron drives to the first window.  Inside, he sees the middle-aged cashier-dude who informs Ron of the total due.  The dude appears to be of Hispanic decent.  I know that mentioning race seems a little silly, but it will have relevance a little further along in the story.  The cashier gives Ron his change.  I know, I know, this all seems pretty boring right?  We’ve all been through this same experience probably hundreds of times.  Typical McDonald’s experience.  Typical, until the cashier decides to go completely insane.

“I’ve always wanted to say this to someone before I quit,” says the cashier.  He looks Ron right in the eye.  “F$%k you, you fat white f$%*&r.  Don’t eat here.  Don’t bother telling my manager, ’cause I’m going to quit right now.”

Ron, stunned, watches the window close and then pulls forward.  Still in amazement, he is handed his food by another McDonald’s employee who closes her window before Ron has a chance to say “boo.”

Back at the office, Ron is finally laughing as he relays the story to the rest of us.  Ron has already gotten over it and thinks it’s funny.  Some of the other coworkers feel the same.  I, like with most things in life, get a little pissed off.

First, who is stupid enough to speak to a customer like that?  It’s not like this guy was some teenager who still has the reason of being young, immature, and ignorant.  The dude was just a middle-aged wash-out who is immature and ignorant.  Even if you are planning to quit, why would you talk to someone in that manner who has done absolutely nothing bad to you in any sort of way other than try to support the company that pays your wages?

Second, imagine if roles were reversed.  Imagine a white dude saying to a Hispanic person, “F#$k you, you fat brown f$%*&r.”  McDonald’s would be looking at a lawsuit like no other.  “Racism” and “hate crime” would be thrown around and the white dude would have to go live in the hills in Idaho for the rest of his adult life.  The cashier from this incident will probably just get another job at another fast food restaurant.

Third, what kind of middle-aged dude works as a cashier at McDonald’s?  And the fact that he said “I’ve always wanted to say this to someone before I quit” makes me think that he has had a sting of drive-through cashier jobs… all of which he’s quit.  I’m thinking this dude needs to knock over another convenience and land himself back in prison, which is apparently where he’s spent most of his life up to this point.  Can you think of any other reason a middle-aged dude would be working a string of fast food drive-through jobs… all of which he’s quit? Neither can I.

So I’m just steamed that this punk had the nerve to talk to someone like that, right?  I go home and I’m still all torked out of shape.  And then I really start thinking about it.  I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but other than the whole racist-aspect of the ordeal (the punk needs a little bitch-slap for that), I kind of respect the dude.  Here is this loser who is in a really crappy, dead-end job, and he goes out with a bang.  He gets off his chest something that has been building up probably forever.  I mean, I feel for poor Ron, ’cause he didn’t do anything but try to buy some lunch (and he really isn’t what I consider to be fat… although he is the whitest dude I know), but you have to hand it to the punk.  He did something that most of us only dream of doing… every waking hour of every day of our lives.  Good for him.

Now this middle-aged dude just needs to find a career where he can utilize his skills, where he can find peace, where he can fit in.  Like I already stated, knocking over a convenience store…