Isn’t technology amazing? Hasn’t it made daily life so much easier? Nothing reduces stress like modern technology!
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First-thing on a typical Monday morning in Tech Support:
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Me: Thanks for calling tech support, how can I help you?
Little old lady on Phone (lol): My internet isn’t working.
Me: I’m sorry to hear that. Let’s see if we can’t get it fixed for you.
Instant Message from new co-worker (im1): Hey, why would someone’s dealie tell them their network cable is unplugged?
Me: How long has your Internet not been working?
Me: What dealie?
Instant Message from old co-worker (im2): I got a weird one. this guy can’t see anything on his screen.
lol: It hasn’t worked all morning.
im1: I don’t know, the little dealie in the bottom corner of the monitor.
Me: What do you mean “can’t see anything”?
Me: So it was working yesterday?
Instant Message from boss (im3): Did you get that equipment ordered?
im2: the screen is completely blank.
Me: Did you have them check their network cable?
lol: I didn’t use it yesterday.
Me: What equipment?
Text Message from the wife (text1): Can u grab a gallon of milk after work?
Me: The blue screen of death?
im3: the routers for the Schergenrader installation.
Me: When is the last time you used it?
im2: What network cable?
Me: Yeah, how come?
im2: no, it’s completely black
lol: I haven’t used it for a couple of weeks.
Me: I don’t know anything about the Scherkenderfer installation.
text1: I have to pick the boy up from school and won’t have time.
Me: The network cable going into the back of the computer from her router.
Me: What do you see on your screen right now?
im3: Maybe I forgot to tell you about it. I need you to order 3 routers, next day, for the Schergenrader installation tomorrow.
Me: Are you sure there is power to the monitor?
Text Message from the boy (text2): Can u pk me up aftr skwl?
im1: OK, I’ll have her check that.
lol: Nothing.
Me: I’d have to order in the next 10 minutes to get it guaranteed by tomorrow.
im2: she says it is plugged in.
im1: The cable is connected, but the lights on her router aren’t on.
Me: I thought your mom was gonna pick you up.
text2: Mom g2 p u milk or sumtin
Me: So, your screen is just blue?
im3: Yeah, we really need them. I’d order them, but I have an appointment to get my hair cut. I’m already late.
Me: The boy is asking me to pick him up
lol: No, the screen is black
Me: Your mom asked me to get the milk, she said she was going to get you. Could you work it out with her and let me know what I need to do. I’m kind of busy.
text2: wrtg a novel? L2 txt. uradrk 🙂
text1: no, I’ll get him. You need to get the milk.
Me: I don’t know if I will have time.
Me: Can you work it out with the boy? I’m kind of busy right now. Just let me know what you guys decide and I’ll do whatever that is.
Me: How about we try pushing the power button?
Me: How about we try pushing the power button?
Me: How about we try pushing the power button?
Me: How about we try pushing the power button?
lol: What power button?
im1: Power button on what?
text2: That’s the longest text ever. uradrk ♥
im2: Push what?
im3: Power button? What in the hell are you talking about? Just get it done!
Me: The power button on the monitor.
Me: Make sure the router is plugged in.
Me: The power button on the monitor.
lol: Well what do you know. Looks like that didn’t get turned on. Looks like my internet is actually working. Thank you.
im1: Oh, hey, it was unplugged. Seems to be good now.
Me: Your welcome.
text2: Mom get me, u get milk
im2: Yeah, the monitor wasn’t turned on. All is well.
text2: I’ll get the boy, you get the milk… just like I first wrote.
Me: Great
Me: Great
Me: Great
Me: Great
Me: Great
im3: “Great” what? Are you smoking something funny?
Me: No, I mean, yes, I mean… never mind. I’ll get the routers ordered. Then I can start going through my email…
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Technology SUCKS!!! Man, I miss my Blackberry…
So thats why the long pauses in conversation when you call tech support. It all makes sense now.
As for the texts, i can handle one or two, then i just simply text : CALL ME. Seems to save time.
That was an awesome piece of writing. Loved it!
See, that’s a good reason to not text! I have still resisted the movement, but I see it looming in my future (whenever my girls get a phone from their dad!). That must be so difficult for you, a male, to multitask like that. I am so sorry for you.
Lee, yeah, I’m the same with texting… at least with a regular phone. When I had a smartphone with a full QWERTY, I was a texting fool, now it’s like, “screw this, just call me!”
Thanks, Matt. Coming from a journalism major who now does… nothing… at… all… with… journalism… well, your comments are always welcome 🙂
Judy, yeah, I have stress issues related to multitasking… but at least I don’t have gas problems related to the removal of my gallbladder 😀